A Girl with Messed-up Brain

Hey there I am back.
I need to apologies upon the no-update September.

Things has turn really bad last month. 

And when I said 'really bad', it means the "real real bad" month.

I have never feel so helpless.

It doesn't mean nobody wanna help me

My friend treat me well.

They love me.

My parents love me.

It's just things turn so hopeless until a state it's uncontrollable.

I wanna make things right but it takes so much of me that it almost kill me.

I want someone to rely on so I hope for God.

But my faith didn't stay strong when I still feel so hopeless and lonely all the time.

I need someone to rely on, 

Someone physically and mentally prepared to listen and comfort a almost torn out baby.

I  hope I can express.

But I am damn bad at it.

When I talk, I keep smile.

As if nothing can hurt me.